Ben and Jane get married
Dancing at the wedding
Opening Sequence: Scott Bairstow, Eion Bailey, Michael Weatherly, Jennifer Garner, Elizabeth Mitchell, Created by Christopher Keyser and Amy Lippman.
Nell is at work showing an advertisement about breath freshener to a group of test subjects. She asks them how many of the use a breath freshening product and marks down the raised hands. She asks them how they felt about the woman telling the man he had bad breath. A woman responds that she thought it was okay because they were friends. Nell has a smile pasted on and is nodding reponsively at the woman. Two women start talking about how it was great how the two friends in the ad "went way back" and she could tell him anything, and how women are different from men because they don't hide things and don't lie about things. Nell is obviously starting to feel guilty. "Women are honest with their friends," says one woman. "About bad breath," Nell interjects. "About everything," the other woman confirms.
Henry is reading a voyeur pornography story aloud. Charlotte listens, approves, and says he expand the stuff about the penis. Henry says he's still working on the nuances. Charlotte says he's the Sidney Sheldon of the internet. She also tells him to get it finished and get it posted, that she has some movie reviews for him to do. He says no problem, for some reason he's inspired today.
Campbell is with his brother Ben in Ben's new office. He has new curtains and a new paint job and he's opening a bottle of champagne. Campbell whines that he doesn't want to toast Ben's new curtains, that he's had a pretty crappy 24 hours, and he just wants to know what this is about. Ben tells him he's getting married. Campbell is in serious shock, and almost slides down Ben's new paint job. "With Jane?" Campbell asks. "Yes with Jane. Of course with Jane. Obviously Jane," Ben says, "And we want to do it fast, we want to do it now." Campbell reminds him that they've only been together six months. Ben says they want to do it now. Campbell doesn't get it. Ben doesn't understand what Campbell doesn't get. Campbell, without making much sense, asks why Ben is buying curtains, and what he spent on those curtains. Furthermore, what is he doing in this office in a factory? What is he doing in the bra business in the first place? Did Pop sign off on this? Ben is getting frustrated with his brother, and doesn't understand what any of this has to do with him and Jane. Campbell tells him the everything he does is backwards. He gets curtains before learning the business. He proposes to Jane before getting to know her. Ben says they'll skip the champagne.
Campbell pulls up in front of his apartment, which is right next to a triple-X movie theater, in his blue convertible, pulling an old parking ticket out and putting it under the windshield-wiper. He meets Nell who says that this is really embarassing, but she thinks she left her watch. They get into rickety elevator. She says she had intended to give him a little more time before having to face her again. She babbles on about how hard it must have been to see them like that. He hasn't said a word. She says she wants him to be okay, because he's still her friend. She babbles on and on until he interrupts her as he's opening the door to his apartment and says that he's got a bunch of other stuff on his mind right now. She's miffed.
Nell walks into her apartment kicking off her shoes and complaining about her day. She calls for Henry and walks into the kitchen to find two lobsters hanging out on the floor. Henry walks up and she asks if they're dinner and he says he was actually thinking of double dating. She says he can't afford lobster... he can't even afford tuna fish. He shows her the expensive wine. She starts to protest. He says that he now has a girlfriend whose name he can scream at the most critical juncture, and he's feeling good. He says that he figures if he cooked her dinner and got her drunk that she'd let him move in with her. She's caught by surprise. He understands that Campbell might not take it well, but that maybe this will help him get over it. Nell says that he is over it. "That was fast," Henry says. Nell can't believe how over it Campbell is. Henry doesn't understand why she's so upset that Campbell isn't upset. She says she just wishes Campbell would be more consistent. She values consistency. Henry doesn't believe her, but says if that's what she wants, he's offering her a chance to go to sleep with him in her bed every night, and wake up with him every morning. "How does that sound?" he asks. She kisses him. He's pleased, but she doesn't look so sure.
Campbell, Ben, their parents, and Jane are having dinner at a Chinese restaurant and trying to plan the wedding. Ben insists that he won't get married in a windowless hotel ballroom. Jane mentions July. Ben says he doesn't want to marry her in July, he wants to marry her Saturday. Campbell suggests the Hollywood sign. Ben suggests Cam's roof. Jane thinks it would be great, at sunset, with the lights downtown.... Campbell says Aunt Bertie would never set foot in his neighborhood. His dad says they can do whatever they want, it's their day. His mom agrees. Then she gushes, how great it is that they found eachother, that her baby is getting married (Campbell tries to remind her that he's the baby, but she steam-rolls over him), and it's their love that will make the day special, whether it's at the Taj Mahal or the roof of some low-rent tenement. Campbell gets up to leave at this insult. No one really notices except Jane. She follows him out. She says that the whole thing is ironic, and really she should thank him. He says she shouldn't. She says no, really, she should, because they were never going to make it as a couple, and he saw that long before she did. She thanks him also for getting his brother to help haul her stuff out of his place, cause if that hadn't happened.... She kisses him on the cheek and walks away. He's speechless. She turns back and says with a smile that it'll be a hell of a story to tell their kids someday. He, without smiling, agrees. She walks inside and he's left standing outside the restaurant by himself.
Henry is setting up his writing corner in Nell's apartment and apologizing for moving some stuff around. She says it's no big deal. She checks out the desk he has set up and asks what a certain piece of paper is. He says it's a contract, and that he's no longer freelance. She can't believe he's writing porn full-time. He asks why she suddenly has a problem with it, and thinks that she's picking a fight. She says she's always had a problem with it. He thinks it's about his moving in. She insists it's only about his writing, and that she really does want him living with her. To prove it to him, she tells him to quit his job and she'll support him. She says maybe it will help inspire him. She loves him, she wants to help, so she'll worry about the money and he should worry about writing. He grins, toasts her with his coffee cup, and says, "Have a nice day at work dear."
Campbell is trying to some new songs out of one of the guys in his band. The lyrics are about the 12 steps. They are in a rehab center, and the guy in the band says that he writes about what he knows. Campbell tries to be encouraging about the future prospects of the band once this guy is out of rehab and the other guy is out of jail. He says he has gigs lined up and everything. Campbell says they'll be greater than ever. The guy asks why.
Campbell is on the outside of a plexiglass wall talking to another member of his band. He tells him it's because they're now "bad," and "bad" sells. Only they have to have some new music when they get out. The guy in jail says he got turned down by the appeals court and his lawyer said he was screwed, so jail is his new home. Campbell says maybe they can get the label to spring for a new lawyer in exchange for.... The guy in jail gives him wake-up call, telling him that Nicky is kicking a methadone habit and he's in the big house and the band is not happening anytime soon.
Nell is being offered the job of senior account executive at her job. It's a huge promotion, and will mean a lot more work, but she'll get great benefits and more money and in four years she could be a vice-president and eventually a partner. She's very excited. She can't believe it. The guy says that someone else did the same thing for him thirty years ago. She's amazed. He says she's better than she thinks she is. She says no she's not, she actually thinks she's really good. He's a little confused by her honesty. She goes on to tell him how this wasn't what she was supposed to be doing. This job was supposed to be temporary. The guy says he was offering to mentor her. She asks him not to. He says she should quit. She tries to explain and says that if she looks back in thirty years and... she realizes she's about to insult him. So she quits.
Jane and Campbell are on his roof planning Jane and Ben's wedding. She's giddy. He's entranced by her. She babbles about dancing and setup and how great it is that Campbell is okay with all this and how Ben is so excited to have Campbell give the toast, and isn't it great that everything works out for the best. He tells her his band is dead. He's completely kaput after three years of managing. He tells her his two best friends got together and he just found out. She pretends to be pleasantly surprised, but is obviously realizing now that Campbell is going to bring her down from her giddy high. He says he's alone. He hasn't seen anyone since Jane. She tries to be polite and offers to sit him next to one of her single friends at the wedding. He says no, he's just examining the trend of his life sucking, and where it might be possible to reverse it. He says maybe here, right now, with Jane. He tries to apologzie for telling her that he didn't love her, and now that he looks back he realizes he was in love with her. He says Ben won't make her happy. She walks up to him and says directly to his face, "Because he's your brother, I'm going to pretend that when I said, 'Should I maybe sit you next to one of my single friends,' you said, 'Gee, Jane, thanks. That would be swell.'" She walks away, leaving Campbell alone on the roof.
Campbell's shooting some pool in a bar. Nell finds him. He tells her he's hiding. She says she can't go home. He tells her to grab a stick. She tells him she did something incredibly stupid. He says, "That makes two of us." She says, no really, she made a horrible mistake. With Henry. "Being with him, you mean?" he asks. She's offended, but then asks if he really thinks they're a mistake. He backpeddles and says no, he doesn't hink that. He says, "In fact, everyone that should be together, is together." He rags on their relationship, saying they were so proud of it they had to keep it hidden, and maybe they could keep it up long enough to hurt each other so badly as to turn a 20-year relationship into nothing. Nell is totally upset. He realizes he was harsh. She tries to leave. He asks her to stay and celebrate with him. He says he is celebrating the fact that his options are open. He has no woman, so he can date any woman. He has no job, so he can have any job. She tries to get a work in edge-wise about the job thing but he goes on to ask, "When did things start to count?" He reminsces about when they used to play games as kids, and when they screwed up they could just call a do-over. And they would start again. Pick the wrong summer job, get the right one the next summer. Pick the wrong girl, dump her, find the right girl. Everything seemed to matter back then, but nothing really did. She says she thinks they still have do-overs. He says they're 25, and things are starting to count now. They may not notice, but one day, bam, and they are who they're going to be.
Nell tells Henry that they were meant to be friends, and they should have remained friends, and if they hadn't gotten drunk that night.... He says he loves her. She says he shouldn't, and tells him how three hours after she offered to support him she quit her job. She tells him he deserves better than that. He tells her that he told Charlotte he would take the job, and he signed the contract, and everything is okay. She gets mad and can't believe that he's that afraid to take a chance. He can't figure out why she's not happy about this, and tells her that he's not afraid. He says Charlotte offered him more money, and it sounded great, so he took it, and it's not like he won't have time to work on his own stuff. He can work on his own stuff and pay the rent at the same time. She says, "So you're just doing it for the money." He's happy that she finally understands. She blows up again, and says she can't respect that, and can't be with someone like that. "How could you not quit?" she yells at him. He tries to defend himself, but can't figure out what to say.
Campbell is getting his suit fitted for the wedding with his father. His father says that with Ben getting married, and Campbell's life as it is now, maybe he should start thinking again about joining the family business. Campbell protests greatly. He says he doesn't want the family business, he loves music. He claims he can make a lot of money in music. His father is doubtful. Campbell tries to say that he's doing what his father did, trying to do something on his own. His brother's name slips between his lips during one of his protestations and his father insists that he not bring Ben into it. His father says Ben stepped up to the plate. Campbell says Ben got fired from his first job out of B school and was broke. He asks his father if he really thinks Ben took the job because he loves it. He says that Ben will take his salary, and when his father is gone Ben will sell it. His father gets furious and reminds Campbell that he is Ben's best man.
Ben and Jane's engagement party. Ben says hello to his best man. Jane greets Campbell coldly. Ben insists Campbell kiss he bride. Campbell pecks Jane on the cheek, and Ben jokingly says that's the last time without permission. Henry is explaining to an elderly man that he's a technical writer. The man asks how you get into that, and Henry says, "You slide into it, mostly." Nell comes in the door, and Campbell's mother greets her with a huge hug. Campbell's mother scolds him about the fact that she had to call Nell herself to tell her about the nuptials and the party. Nell asks how long he's know about this, and he says about 36 hours. Nell asks Campbell what's wrong, and asks him if he doesn't want her there. He says it has nothing to do with her. She realizes that the wedding is why he was so miserable the night before. He apologizes for his behavior. He says he was just pissed off at the world and anyone who was happy, namely at Ben and Jane, but that Nell and Henry are great. She's shocked. He says he's sorry. She can't believe he's sorry 'cause she broke up with Henry. She says she listened to Campbell. He says he didn't tell her to do that. She says essentially he did. He says not to put this on him. She walks away.
Nell goes out back to the bar. Asks for white wine. No, scotch. No, both. She spies Campbell's father toasting Ben.
Henry finds Campbell sitting alone in the kitchen room. He says the good news is that Campbell will never have to be his best man. Campbell says, yeah, he heard. Henry says he's sorry if Campbell got hurt, and all for nothing. Campbell says he needs a life, and he's starting from scratch. He needs a great idea. Campbell says that there is a kitchen table somewhere where someone sat and said, "Hey, why don't we just sell a bunch of different kinds of coffee. Maybe that will work." Or bagels. Somewhere out there is the next big thing. And he's going to find it. Henry says that's nice. Campbell says Henry should join him, move back in with him, make a committment and do it together. Nell overhears and is upset.
Campbell is making sure his elderly aunt is okay to drive home. She drives off wobbling down the road. Nell walks up. Campbell says his aunt hasn't been okay to drive since the Eisenhower administration. Nell doesn't laugh. Campbell realizes something is wrong. She says it's like nothing ever changes with them. She wonders why she cares about him so much and why she puts up with it. She says that she doesn't matter to him at all. He doesn't understand. She says he was upset about her and Henry for like five minutes until he found something else to be upset about. And then she goes home and breaks up with Henry, because what Campbell says matters to her, and then she finds out that he wasn't really talking about her at all. He says he apologized. She asks him why when he wanted to start a business he went to Henry and not her. When Henry has a job and she doesn't have anything. She's crying. She says he could have come to her. Why isn't she ever the one he picks. He says because he can't depend on her. She says that's a cop out. He says no, it's not, she quits everything. She says she doesn't. He says she quit her job. She says that she was going to be stuck there for the rest of her life. He says she quits every job. He lists the jobs she has quit and various reasons that she quit them that always conveniently had nothing to do with her. Everything from the hours to the air conditioning system. He says she can't commit to a pet, or a lease, or a channel on TV. She quits everything... and everyone. Henry. And before Henry, Michael. And before Michael, Jason, who proposed, jerk. And the guy before him, and the guy before him, all he way back to him. "You quit me," he says. She can't believe he's talking about high school. Campbell says that if he gave her what she wanted from him, she'd be gone. He leaves her alone on the dark street.
Henry is moving his stuff out of Nell's apartment. She asks him if there's anything he wants to say. He starts talking about tickets to a show they got together for the following week. She says that's not what she meant. He says thanks for letting him stay in her apartment for one whole day. She says that she's done something horrible to him, and he's been so good about it. She asks if he wants to yell at her or something. He says she has no idea. She tells him to go ahead and do it, it might make him feel better, and it might make her feel better too. He says he can't, because if he did he might say some horrible things, and he doesn't want to make it harder for her to change her mind. She is surprised. He says it's not impossible, that she's done it before. She is insulted, and can't figure out why everyone thinks she can't make up her mind. He leaves.
Campbell and his mother are on his roof the day of the wedding. She hopes he'll shave. He smiles and says he will. She comments on his beautiful smile and says she's glad they paid for the orthodontist. She goes on to sound incredibly supportive, but actually cut Campbell down right and left, telling him that even though everything is working out for Ben, it will work out for Campbell too. She hasn't counted him out yet... at least not yet anyway.
Night time on the roof. Lights and a dance floor and tables and guests and champagne. Ben greets Nell. Says he heard about Henry and they should go out as two couples after he and Jane get back from Hawaii. She says that they're not together. That was yesterday. It turns into an awkward moment.
Henry sits down on a bench and is joined by two small girls. The older one asks him if he is there by himself. He says yes. She says she is too. The other girl tugs on his sleeve and lets him know that both she and her mommy have vaginas.
Campbell is hiding in a corner leaning back in a chair bouncing his feet of the side of the roof. A jovial Ben comes up and complains about not being able to see Jane before the ceremony. He asks Campbell not to mention the trip to Reno in his toast because Jane doesn't know about it. Campbell says he's not going to make the toast. He says he can't think of anything to say. Ben says you just get up there in front of the people and something will come to you. Campbell says no, he really can't think of anything to say, and he's tried, and he just can't find anything positive to say. Ben can't believe what he's hearing. Campbell says Ben should have someone up there who means it. Ben says Campbell is a real son of a bitch. Ben says Campbell walked away from her, and now they're happy and Campbell wants her back. Campbell says it's not about that, it's not about his wanting her, it's the fact that he know Ben, and he knows her, and they don't want the same things. Ben starts pushing Campbell. Campbell doesn't fight back. Ben asks why Campbell wants to embarrass him on his wedding day. Campbell says he doesn't want that, that this is his own problem, and he's sorry. Ben says he doesn't want Campbell standing next to him, and if it weren't for mom and pop he'd kick Campbell out all together.
Nell sees Ben trying to put on a happy face walking away from Campbell. She walks over to Campbell and asks him what it was all about. He tells her he backed out of the toast. "What?" she exclaims. "Please don't start with me," he responds. She can't believe how self-centered he's being. He doesn't really defend himself until she says that he's cynical. He says he's the least cynical person he knows. He says that it's the wedding that's cynical. He says they're not really in love. It's just that Jane got scared that she wouldn't have everything set in her life by the time she was 26, and Ben could fall in love with anyone. He says he belives that there is someone out there for him, and he'll find her and fall in love with her. And he'll find something to do with his life that might not make him rich, but will make him happy. He says he's not cyncial. He's bitter, because he hasn't found any of those things yet, but he's not cynical. In fact, he's a romantic. An intensely bitter romantic. The wedding ceremony has started.
The couple say their vows. Henry looks at Nell. Nell looks at Campbell. Campbell looks back at Nell. nell looks at Hnery. Henry looks abck at Nell. The couple are pronounced husband and wife.
Jane and Ben are catching their cab, escaping from the reception. A beautiful woman reaches for the cab door at the same time Ben does. They start to argue until the woman realizes the couple just got married, and she gives them the cab as a wedding present. As the cab pulls away and Jane is busy giving the drive instructions, Ben watches the woman walking along the sidewalk.
Back at the reception, people are dancing. Henry walks up to Nell, and asks her to dance. As their dancing, he asks her what she's doing in the year 2004. She says besides turning 30 she thinks she has a teeth cleaning scheduled in October. He asks her to marry him then. She's shocked. He asks her to hear him out. He says that they plan it, and then either the thought of it scares them so much that they find other people by then, or it won't, and they'll have each other. "So, what do you say?" he asks. She says OK.
Campbell walks up to Henry and Nell, and says to Nell, "If you don't dance with me, I'm going to have to dance with my cousin Miriam. My cousin Miriam with the gazongas. Help." Nell and Henry smile and Nell goes to dance with Campbell. Campbell asks Nell if she remembers when they once said that if they were still virgins by the time they were 17 that they'd do it with each other. She giggles at the memory. He says it worked... it took the pressure off. She agrees. "What if we did that again?" he says. "What, lost our virginities?" she asks. He says no, what if they had an understanding that if they didn't find anyone else by the time they were thirty that they'd get married. She says, "You're kidding." He says, "Kinda." Then he realizes he's not kidding at all. She laughs. He says by thrity he has to be practical. He says it could be like an insurance policy against being alone. They could be alone together. She says OK. They dance. Henry cuts in to dance with Campbell. The three of them dance together.